There were reasons why I was feverishly anticipating the June 22 premiere of ABC’sRising Star. Summer TV has been relatively weak so far, and it’s nice to think that a brand new reality competition might be worth investing in. We as a people may have grown tired of rote reality, but we haven’t yet gotten past that little inkling of hope that something will be the next big thing.
So is Rising Star that next big thing? The short answer is no. The long answer? Nooooooo.
The big gimmick of ABC’s newest entry into the singing competition genre revolves entirely around the “cutting-edge app technology” that allows viewers to vote for contestants in real time via a God-complex app similar to the dating gem Tinder. Swipe right for YES or left for NO (and if you’re on the West Coast, just don’t even bother because your votes only matter for redeeming the sloppy seconds of contestants not popular enough to make it through the first run on the East Coast). To raise a giant wall separating the audience from the performer, each singer must earn 70 percent positive votes (though the show never explains this, it appears that the grand number is based on those who have physically “checked in” for each individual performance).
A 7 percent share of the vote belongs to each member on the the panel of experts—Kesha, Brad Paisley, and Ludacris—who each could have been a compelling reason to elevate the show beyond the voting gimmick, but exercise little to no real enthusiasm for the program. Now, I’ll admit: I’ve been hyping Rising Star solely because of Kesha, the auto-tuned glittercorn voice of a generation of drunk sorority girls, but unfortunately, Kesha seems to have reformed her neon tribal war-paint ways (see: her abandonment of the dollar sign in her name) and isn’t the soundbite-spewing jackpot I thought she might be, even though host Josh Groban warned, “She’s beautiful, talented, and we have no idea what she’s gonna do or say tonight. Sorry censors, it’s Kesha!” How delightfully zany!
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